Wound

It’s been years I am looking for a cure
A cure to fix me, to lend me a power to speak
Indeed, I think that I am better off speaking on my own
Literally as I do now, just fearless and shameless

What is the answer from something that I am searching for?
What is the cure from feeling so insecure?
Shall I speak to anyone else to survive?
Or just let it die in misery?

It’s sad, it’s heavy, and sometimes it hurts
Time after time, it’s just like a cancer staying up on mind
Day after day, it spreads through every single of my veins
It’s like I am walking on eggshells, it scares me to fall, to lose, and to speak

Just what is cure?
Does it mean loving someone or to be loved by someone?
That’s a lie! Just to put anyone else first before myself, and so I get hurt
Smile through every moment to see myself bleed
Is this the true cure?

Shall I talk to anyone else?
Speak about all the matters to set me free?
I lose! No matter how many times I speak, it’s just to fill my emptiness
The words miserably come flowing out my mouth, but the major damaged stay still and never been fixed.

What am I supposed to do?
Pretend that everything is right while deep inside I am dying?
I am scared to think, to speak, and to see future
Shattered of all my own wishes, I made those delusional dreams because I am freaking scared to think what would I become
Just can’t get myself away from thinking

I meant to say all these words
I don’t want to let anyone else down
Would you at least care? Would you even understand?
There’s a wound that I don’t even know where it is
I just don’t know what to do, and I don’t know what the cure is

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